full name Jackson James Kostner date of birth December 15th, 1986 birthplace chicago, il resides in Irvington, NY occupation Entrepreneur relationship status Married
biography For the son of a drunken socialite and a workaholic lawyer, Jackson James Kostner is remarkably well adjusted. Rather then growing up bitter about his father never being around and his mother being too drunk to be of much use, Jack has learned to embrace the lack of parental influence on his life. He was raised by a series of nannies, all of whom he had wrapped around his little finger. When his parents did pay attention to him, it was usually to throw money at him which is why at the ripe old age of 17 he had enough money to fund an internet start-up business selling kitten calendars online. Sure, it wasn't the coolest way to earn a quick buck but it meant he wouldn't always be dependent on his parents for money and it kept him from getting a McJob.

The one constant throughout his childhood was his younger sister, Carlee. As his father tells it, Jack was the oops baby and Carlee was the one they planned for, but that didn't seem to make a difference when it came to how they were treated. Both grew up under the careful eye of nannies but no matter how many of them came and went, they always had each other. This lead to Jack developing a protective streak when it came to his little sister. He kept an eye on her since he was old enough to push a boy who had the nerve to pick on her off the monkey bars in the park. At times, though, he could be overprotective. He enjoyed interrogating her potential boyfriends a little too much which lead to tension between the two of them. They didn't start to really get along until he moved out of the family home. It was then that Jack discovered that their relationship was one that improved the further apart they were from each other.

Though Jack firmly believed he was able to take care of himself and live on his own, the fact of the matter was that, at seventeen years of age, he was woefully unprepared for the task. After a week of independence it was a slightly humbled Jack who moved in with his Aunt, Uncle and his cousin, who was only four years younger then him. To Jack, his cousin is not just family, but his oldest friend as well. Those rare weekends growing up when Jack's father wasn't working were spent with family, usually with his cousin and his parents. Because of this, the two formed a bond while they were young and much of Jackson's youth was spent getting into trouble with his cousin in Chicago. That bond was also why he turned to his Aunt, Uncle and cousin when he couldn't quite make it on his own. It goes without saying that his cousin is his favourite family member, and it was no surprise that when he moved to Florida, Jack ended up staying with him there. What was supposed to be a one week visit ended up being a five month stay.

While in Florida, Jack was introduced to his cousin's best friend/on and off girlfriend s. He's not quite sure how it happened but one day he woke up and they were friends. Jack now counts her as one of his best friends, and sometimes wonders how he managed to get by before he met her. She cooked for him, let him push her around in shopping carts at Costco, and to this day puts up with his Kelly Ripa obsession. When she moved to NYC to go to school, Jack followed. Not on purpose; it was definitely not a planned move. It just sort of...happened. At first he was just going to stick around for a few days, help her move her stuff in, then head back to the keys. But he kept finding excuses not to go home. It didn't help that he was on the outs with his cousin at the time and in the end, it was much cheaper to move in with her then hotel hop. He made one last visit to Key West to sell his surf board and pack up the rest of his stuff and after that, became a proud New Yorker.

He lasted six months. Even managing to out-last his friend who he followed there in the first place, who by then had left for LA. In that six months he did a lot of growing, both personally, and professionally. He fell in love for the first time and had his heart broken for the first (and only, he claims) time. His relationship with his sister also went down hill, which Jack chalked up to their close proximity to each other. Before long he decided he missed his friend's cooking and didn't like eating deep fried Oreos alone. That and he'd just had his heart broken for the first time in his life. The novelty of New York had officially worn off. On a 'whim', he packed a carry-on and grabbed a stand-by flight to LA.

Jack spent the next in LA. It was the longest he'd ever spent in one place since 2004. At some point during the year, his cousin relocated there as well and Jack was the most content he'd been in a long time. He had a great apartment, his business was growing and he was once again living near his two favourite people. He began to seriously consider staying in LA for the long term. He got a cactus. He adopted a cat. He moved out of his apartment and bought a condo. However, in May of this 2011, he came down with a bad case of itchy feet. He wanted a change of scenery and felt the need to move on. This was in part due to the fact that his two best friends had become a unit, of sorts, and though they never, ever purposely made him feel as such, Jack couldn't shake the feeling that he was a bit of a third wheel. The two were moving on with their life together and Jack was still just Jack. Though he never really lacked for female company he has not had a serious relationship since he left New York in early 2010. When his two best friends became engaged in June, that was it for him. He would miss them. A fuck of a lot. But it was time to move on.

At first he was going to head to Boston, he'd always been a sucker for a Bostonian accent. Then it was Chicago, his home and native city. He even considered moving back to Key West for a while, but in the end Jack packed up his cat, his cactus, and his deep fryer, and made the long drive back to New York. He had family there, after all. And it had been far too long since he'd meddled in his younger sister's life. Instead of settling down near his sister in Manhattan he opted to find a place to live in nearby Dobbs Ferry. He was close enough to visit, but far enough apart that they didn't have to see each other every day. His parents are still in Manhattan as well. He still doesn't have much to do with his father, but in the year and a half he's been back he has slowly taken over the role of his mother's caretaker. He shuttles her too and from appointments, talks to her doctors about various treatment plans and is the one who gets the phone calls at two o'clock in the morning when she's too drunk to get herself home and refuses to leave whatever bar she's in.

Jack has kept his business going no matter where he's called home. It's been eight years since he started designing kitten calendar's in the basement of his parent's house and to this day he is still selling calendars with pussies on them. However, the ones he markets now are targeted at appreciators of the female form instead of other people's grandmothers. In mid-2010, with the help of a friend, he expanded his business to include a full range of stationary (including post-it notes, he is always quick to point out) and there are plans to move into the e-card market before 2013 is finished. If business keeps going like it has been, he'll be able to retire by the time he hits 40.


facts and ish family cat: Noel, 4, male, tuxedo short hair, accomplished birder & unofficial neighbourhood watch member.
parents: Carlisle, 48, lawyer; Jacqueline, 50, socialite & alcoholic.
siblings: Carly, 24, pain in the ass but also VIP in his life.

likes grilling, oasis, noel gallagher's high flying bird, noel the cat, his girlfriend, sex, beer, revolution, zombieland, food, macaroni and cheese, marvel comics, bacon, his deep fryer, nerf guns, snow boarding, chicago cubs, travelling, how i met your mother, community, post cards, most small appliances dislikes going to the gym, people who chew their gum loudly, large crowds, small dogs, riding the bus, plastic plants, seafood positives confident, hard working, protective, adventurous negatives arrogant, superficial, overprotective, boastful the more you know Born December 15th, 1986 in Chicago, Illinois, where he spent the first 17 years of his life. As of July '11 he officially lives in Dobbs Ferry, New York, but he's never in one place for very long. Jackson likes to travel and has the frequent flyer miles to prove it.

Can make conversation with anybody, any time, any place. Especially loves to talk about himself or food, or a combination of the two things.

Drives a Dodge Avenger, the first thing be bought with the money he earned selling calendars.

Bought a motherfucking boat in 2012. She's a 2011 Atlantis Verve named Beautiful Bertha. He's taken her out a grand total of one time, not counting the lessons he had before his first official 'cruise'.

Does not really like animals. Dogs freak him out, he finds hamsters creepy and firmly believes fish are food, not house pets. He used to hate cats but they've grown on him, and he now owns one. Or rather, the cat owns him.

His cat, named Noel after the most awesome member of Oasis, was neuticled after he was neutered. If it's good enough for a Kardashian, it's good enough for Jack's cat.

If the song Cars by Gary Numan comes on, he has to dance to it, no matter what he is doing, or where he is located at the time. This has lead to many an embarrassing moment in line at the grocery store, and once in an elevator with his mother's psychotherapist.

He has never voted and does not follow politics at all. Because of this, elections are the only thing he won't bet on.

Jack collects small appliances. His collection started with a deep fryer (Jemima, he'll introduce you, if you want), and has grown steadily ever since. Each appliance is loving packed and taken with with him every time he relocates.

He also collects post cards. And if he finds out you're going somewhere awesome - especially if he doesn't have a post card rom there yet - he will do everything in his power to convince you to send him one from wherever the hell it is that you are going.

Hates most derivatives of his name. Jacky and Jacko are not acceptable and he will let you know that if you're stupid enough to try and call him either name. JJ is out of the question as well, that was his nickname as a kid. Pretty much prefers to be called Jackson, or just Jack.

Has a 'thing' for Kelly Ripa. Her picture is the only one inside his wallet.

Broke his femur while snowboarding when he was 18. Spent the next four months confined to his bed watching soaps with Conchita the cleaning lady. And he'll kill anybody who finds out about this, but he couldn't kick the soap opera habit. He DVRs General Hospital when he can't be home to watch it.

Has a Rwandan sponsor child named Alphonse Bizimani. Alphonse is 14, enjoys playing ball and most likely does not appreciate Jackson's attempts to get him to change his last name to Kostner. Though Jack frequently writes to Alphonse, most of his letters don't get sent. He tends to write the boy when he needs to vent and stores the letters in an old briefcase.

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